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I am cleansing, doing a hybrid of Guliano's leek soup and the Master Cleanse in an attempt to recalibrate my habits, go all the way crazy, and set myself up for success for the remaining days of Savor School.  Slowing down enough to do the work of Savor School has proven to be a huge challenge, so I've pulled out the big guns (fasting).  It's what Guliano suggests anyway to jumpstart the equillibrating process and lifestyle. 

What's really been in my face these past two days of cleansing is how badly I tend to feel about myself and how disgustedly I tend to talk to myself and how badly I tend to treat myself.  I'm nose to nose with my low self-esteem, and I think that it's up for a raise during this fast.  I feel pretty clueless about making that happen.  I feel like a beginner, not an expert at all.  I think what separates me from the me I would like to be is humility and acceptance of my perpetual beginnerness.  I would like to be okay with this "cluelessness" rather than feeling threatened by it.  "I don't know..." (the answer, how to do it, where it is, where I am, what's going on...) is where I want to feel most at home.